Wednesday, 10 February 2016


I don't think I can legally copy and  paste text here, even if I link back so if you're reading this now, read this article by VV Brown published the same day as her new song, Sacrifice. And after you've read it, watch the music video and listen to the song below. 

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Sunday, 7 February 2016

Happiness this week is... #61

Finally finishing all my coursework for the year, for the rest of my degree, before I graduate! Eeek! Now I just need to focus on my thesis, which is going well, and revision! Which I'm gonna have to do a lot of to smash these exams if I want a chance of getting a 1st. The weight of coursework has been lifted though.

Watching The Martian - ohmydaaays awesome, top notch film! Basically this spaceguy gets accidently left behind on Mars because his crew think he's dead and they dip off without him... so he tries to survive on Mars and he grows some potatoes. More happens but I don't want to give it away! It's funny, tense, full of action, feels, the works.
Finally fixing this heart shaped amber pendant onto my old choker! It was on offer while we were in Florida at the Jurassic Park section, ya know why, and I obvs needed more amber in my life, I mean who doesn't?! But it looks better on this than on the wire it came on.
 Playing with paints to help ease anxiety. I have a huge notepad so we just pulled out all my acrylics and brushes and went colour mad on this one sheet! I didn't try to do anything specific (unlike Max who tried to paint a fox and it looked kinda scary) so I didn't get frustrated with myself, I just splodged about the paint enjoying the feel of it, and yes, it helped ease my anxiety! I've also been doing really quick crummy sketches of creatures from my Harry Potter creature picture book to keep my hands busy.
 Receiving this in the post from Ayre, though I can't open it until Valentine's Day! It's sat waiting on my dresser and has already put a smile on my face - thank you Ayre for cheering me up! 
Soya chocolate milk never fails to make me happy so I always have a stock of it, and usually soya yoghurt and chocolate pots too, as well as the obvious plain soya milk for mah muesli and tea. Being vegan rocks guys, get on this shiz.

How has your week been? :)

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Friday, 5 February 2016

Instamonth #January2016

sunrise or sunset || self appreciation selfie || another stunning dynamic sky
the clearest of skies || sister selfie! || we made vegan pizza!
tea & shopping looking at things we can't afford || NYD beach walk || fam

Its been a month of beautiful skies (here, and here) and not a lot else, but coursework. Yawn I'm so boring. I should really start writing about other things instead of my non-existant life. I guess I could actually tell you about my coursework but you'd probs be bored outta your skulls. You didn't come here for a Biochemistry lesson! Still, I've been prepping for an interview based on the content of a poster I made on gene identification in schizophrenia and the use of genome wide association studies, all part of my grade. AND I've been working on a presentation based on a research paper about nucleosome arrays and FRET. It was fucking hard to understand but once it clicks, it clicks and stays there. 

I managed to get away for a weekend to Ireland for my nana's 80th surprise birthday party! Caught up with most, not quite all, of the Irish fam, and my parents and sister ofc. It was right in the middle of loads of coursework though so I was stressed af. I'm pretty glad to see the end of January now, I bet lots are, I've not been sleeping or eating well (the vegan pizza was delicious though), and just generally don't have the will or energy to do anything but sleep or watch Supervet while I'm not studying.

You're probably sick of my complaining about coursework, and that I keep saying you're probably sick of it, how do I know what you're thinking?! It'd be lovely to catch up though and hear what you've got up to this month - link me any monthly posts for me to check out!

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Wednesday, 3 February 2016

2015, the year I got my shit together

...Into 2016 the year I seem to have lost it already, le sigh. Nah, I'm just trying to settle back into routine and stop thinking about graduation and the pressure I'm putting on myself to get a 1st... so aside from the stereotypical 3rd year panicking about "what next?!" I've got my shit together, sort of.
March, 2015, Mother's Day
This is take two writing this post, lets hope it doesn't take as many re-writes as last years. I feel a bit better after just checking 2014's recap, when I wasn't so happy. Actually, imma be honest here, I was fucking suicidal, considering dropping out of uni, and not really getting out of bed much. Fast forward a year, in which I started taking anti-depressants so maybe they have something to do with the improvement in my outlook on life. This morning in a genomics in molecular medicine lecture we were talking about polygenic diseases, and turns out our "outlook on life" is at least, if not more 50% due to our genetics. Then there's also how trauma affects the DNA and how this can be passed on to a child of a parents suffering trauma... I thought it was interesting, but off the point. This year I am not suicidal.

A real moment
I feel like I've been too busy to think about anything too much since this time last year. I had my head down studying from Jan until I finished exams, after which I had a week at home with my parents before I flew to France for my two month work placement. Which I could never have handled the year before! Though my living situation there wasn't the best, the lab and people I met there were amazing. And it boosted my confidence and interest in research, so when I started third year it was nose to the grinder immediately (is that the right saying?). While I was in France I squeezed in a long weekend to stay at Kerri's, who since then has been an amazing, trusted, best friend of mine. Thanks for putting up with my long ass ranty emails (and sorry your Christmas present is still in the suitcase I haven't unpacked yet...).
 Turning 20
 One morning in France
One day in Belgium
Max, my housemate/friend, turned housemate/BFF, turned housemate/boyfriend, came out to France for my last few days there, ya know, as boyfriends do *smugface*. My best memory from that is sitting in deck chairs in the sun with sangira watching a mechanical dragon breathe fire by La Loire. We then had a day at my parents', a day at his fams', then I went to Ireland, then home, then back here to Portsmouth again. Since then I've been so busy, and have clearly hardly blogged! I've been swept up and buried in my work, which I love, but I already feel disappointed in myself for not getting a 1st, like I've only just started the second term, and fuck it - grades aren't the be-all, end-all. I'll settle for a 2:1. So I'm going to try and do something good for myself, some simple self care every day.

This was the first year I've been looking back and NOT hoping next year will be better. I actually felt content so NYE felt like even less of an event than it usually does to me. And now, one month into 2016, I am missing 2015 and have a feeling this is gonna be a hard year. But I have my 21st and graduation to look forward to!

I wish you all the best for the rest of 2016!

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