Saturday, 24 November 2018

Guess Whose Back?

How to start?

I was going to start with something witty like GUESS WHOSE BACK? BACK AGAIN etc... but I know I use humour as a defence. I'm a walking talking cliche.

The reason I'm back (back again)? STOP IT WITH THE ATTEMPTS AT HUMOUR AMBER.

I've been made redundant.

BITCH I'M 23 AND I'VE BEEN MADE REDUNDANT. WHAT THE FUCK?

I'm terrified.

I've read all the articles on the internet and absorbed as much advice as I can about redundancy. I know what I'm supposed to do next. 

Keep Calm And Carry On.

One YouTube video said to allow yourself ONE DAY to mourn the loss of your job. ONE DAY?! ARE YOU FECKING JOKING?!

It's been less than a week and I'm still mourning. I miss my colleagues. I miss the routine. I miss feeling accomplished and like I'm good at something. I'm worried the only thing I'm good at... was my job. And now that's gone I feel like I'm left with nothing. I'm empty. 

I guess that's a bad sign that I put too much of myself into my job. I should have been a more well-rounded person. Shoulda woulda coulda.

*Side note: still trying to stop using the word "should". It's bad.

I'm supposed to update my CV and start applying to jobs and exercise a lot and work on a side hustle too. It's. Too. Much.

I'm overwhelmed. 

Ideally, someone would gently take my hand and lead me down the right path. I know that's not going to happen though.

There isn't a conclusion to this. Not yet anyway.

Stay tuned.

1 comment :

  1. Welcome Back Amber!!!

    I know it’s not what’s going through your mind right now but everything will be ok. I got made redundant this summer as well and it took a while to get a routine and things back but it did and it will for you too.

    You got this!!!

    Good Luck with the blog again as well.

    Gem | gemsupnorth.co.uk

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