Wednesday, 19 November 2014

Anti Bullying Week

I've learnt over the years that the majority of humans are actually pretty unpleasant. I have to say I have only met in my life so far very few genuinely nice people. Hear me out, don't get defensive and tell me it's my attitude, my attitude is great and I'll explain why. Many people go through life doing and saying what they want without thinking of the consequences. They are self absorbed and can't see past their own life, their own problems and their own successes. Most are also very narrow minded and set in their ways. 

Bad things happen to a lot of people, and some peoples way of dealing with it is to take it out on other people, including loved ones, later in life. Personally I can't see how anyone can use this as a real excuse. Like I said, bad things happen to a lot of people. It happens, we can't do anything about it. Bringing more negativity into the world isn't going to change what happened to you, it won't make it better. Maybe it does make you feel better and if someone could explain that concept to me, please do! I will probably never understand it.

I was bullied from when I was about seventeen, coming to uni helped me escape it. I thought when it stopped, it would stop but it doesn't, it stays with you every day. It affects your whole life. It can affect the way you treat people. Instead of taking out all this hurt and anger at what they did out on other people, I made a decision to always put others first and to make my focus in life bringing positivity into the world and putting my energy into caring for others and trying to improve lives in whatever way possible. 

I don't think that is a hard thing to do. It's something that comes naturally to me now. Of course there are times when I'm listening to someone and I might start to daydream, but then I always remind myself how important it is to be a good listener and always be engaged with what the person is saying. People love to be listened to. Putting others first is easy too, maybe easier for some if you're laid back, I understand not everyone is the same and there are some things we shouldn't compromise on, but we're all too busy looking at our phones and thinking of ourselves to notice someone who might really need out help. Just look at the statistics; suicide has just become the biggest cause of death in men in the UK. And another stat, it's always said that more men die from suicide than women, which is true, but more women attempt suicide than men but fail, as men tend to use more lethal methods. Nowadays people don't have as strong support systems to back them up when times are hard.

A few people reading this will be nodding along and will actually get what I'm saying. Others will also be nodding along too but actually they are the type of people who put themselves first and bumble through life not caring who they hurt. Because those people still think they are right, they can't take criticisms. Criticisms are hard to take, I know. I also know we are supposed to not be so self critical, as apparently humans are, but I think most people aren't being critical enough. I check myself all the time, what I'm doing, what I'm saying to make sure it won't offend or hurt anyone. Side note: yes you can be funny without being offensive. I am constantly thinking to myself "how can I improve me?" I will never be perfect, no one is, and that is not what I am asking of people. How hard is it it to notice when someone needs your help? Needs love and positivity? Or just being thoughtful enough to wash up the dishes. Maybe it's a happier life to not overthink it as much as I'm saying? Maybe it's just my experiences in life so far and I need to get out of here and meet the kind of people I want to know! I'm sure you people are out there!

The majority of people in my life are the self absorbed types, they will never admit it, neither will you if you are one. Probably not anyway. I'll be surprised if anyone does. Until people do, I will carry on putting more positivity into the world and trying to remove some of the hurt and hate, and keep close to me the people who keep the same ethos.

Edit: I said the majority of people in my life, I mean people that I've met over my whole life rather than just now. I'm not very good at writing conclusions haha, bear with me! This one was a bit garbled! So many people hurt people but don't accept responsibility for the consequences. Basically, yes you can treat people how you will and not think too much, but then you can't be surprised when there are consequences. I think that's what I'm trying to say! Hope that makes it more understandable! 


  1. Another great and honest post <3
    I completely agree with you. I am not perfect and sometimes fall into the temptation of putting myself first but I always regain a proper state of mind.


  2. I do agree to some extent. But for me, having put others first my whole life, done what's best for others, what others want and such, in the end, didn't turn out so fantastic for my own life. After those people have left, as you get older and drift apart. In someways those people have had the best you could give and you have had nothing from it. It's nice to be nice, I am a nice person, I help people, I do things for people, but I stop when it starts to impact my happiness and my life.

    I'm not self absorbed, but I care about myself. At the end of my life, do I want to think about all the things I did for others at the expense of myself, or do I want to think about all the things I did for myself. I want to think of the latter. But, to defend my statement. That included helping others, that includes being kind and being a decent human being. It's doing things for others because I chose to, not because I have to do it.

    I don't think it's right to say everyone that puts themselves first is self absorbed or doesn't care about other people. It's possible to do both. To put both yourself and others first.

  3. That's true, they're the people I'm really talking about here. Maybe it is my bad luck but I have met too many people who do things that really impact on others and they don't stop and think about what they're doing or how much they could be affecting someones life, I didn't mean it like the little things, that's why I wrote it for anti-bullying week.

    Yes there is a difference between self absorbed and caring for oneself, I am just getting fed up of the people who really don't see what they're doing and I can't understand those people at all, I don't see how they can enjoy making people feel bad or what they gain from it.

    To be honest I've probably ended up in situations where I don't want to be because of putting others first all the time, there have been times where I probably should have put myself first but I guess it's a balance I'll eventually get right.

  4. I know the people :( It's those people that make me think more about myself to be honest. To much time taking to heart what these people that couldn't care less have to say and not enough time thinking about myself and my own opinions and needs.

    It comes with time :) I'm sure you'll have a great balance in the end and you and the people your surround yourself with will be happier because of it.

    No drama, was just expressing what I thought :)

  5. I think I used to be so naive it was pretty easy to take advantage of me, now I'm just so cynical I constantly expect the worst from people and if someone lets me down I'm kinda like 'I knew that would happen'.

    Of course, I like hearing other opinions to my own, and other experiences. Everyone can learn something from someone else.

  6. I know, but the fact that you're brave is even staying longer