Wednesday, 9 July 2014

How to be a perfect blogger...

WARNING: If you have no sense of humour and take yourself too seriously I suggest you leave now.

1. Be really really fake. 
Have no confidence in your own personality and writing so change everything about them. Maybe even copy another blogger 'cos you think they're super awesome. This will make you sound like a clone of everyone else which is just what you want, right?

2. Take photos that have no meaning or enjoyment to them.
Every blog post has to have a photo in it, relevant to the content or not. You MUST take a gazzilion trillion billion photos for each blog post then choose one. If you don't manage this you should feel terrible about yourself and your blog sucks.

3. Forget about real life and do everything for the sake of blogging.
It's not worth wearing something cool if you're not gonna take a lot of photos (see number 2) and write about it. Also not worth going on spontaneous adventures unless you are going to blog about it. Never ever take a step back and enjoy real life just for the sake of enjoying life. Everything must be documented perfectly (again refer to number 2, and 1).

4. Take it very very seriously.
To be a successful blogger you have to stick to certain rules and quotas. You can't be too weird or sarky 'cos people don't like that. You must take serious outfit photos (for reference have a look at some of mine - here) and never smile. God forbid someone might think you enjoyed being in front of the camera.

I obviously stick to and am the perfect example of these rules. Obviously.

This post was inspired by Jessica's What's in a Blog? post, a less sarky and much more touching way of giving confidence back to bloggers. I had totally lost my confidence but Jess, you really inspired me to be myself! This post is my version of reminding bloggers that you can do what you want, do what pleases you, write with your own voice, love yourself a little more, take photos because you love it not because you have to. Don't read "blogger tips" posts they'll only make you feel bad about your blog, they'll make you feel not good enough compared to the rest. Obviously I can't take anything seriously so had to write a sarcastic post, that's really what I do best ;)


  1. Rebecca Carvell9 July 2014 at 21:15

    This post has made my evening! Please do more posts like this, need more bloggers that don't take themselves too seriously x

  2. Thank you for the tips, I'm going to be the best blog on the internet!!:)

  3. Can I ask a question about number 2? Sometimes I only take a gazillion trillion photos to choose from, am I missing out on the extra billion? Would it make people love me more? What if I was maybe super needy too? Would that help?
    I do strive for perfection...
    M x

  4. THE RUUUUULES! THE RUUUUULES!! It's all about the rules!! (hehe I lol'd at this)

  5. Ahh thank you :')glad it made your evening! I'm such a sarky person - people say it's a defense mechanism, I say it's hilarious. In the past I've done quite a few sarky type lists haha will deffo think of some more they are fun to write! x

  6. Your writing is so lovely and i guess I realised everyone is different and that it's ok to be sarky and not take blogging as seriously as I have been! I've started enjoying it again thanks to you :')

  7. Ahah good to hear Molly! Remember to take aaalllll those pics ;)
    also checked out your blog, thanks for leaving your link <3

  8. Yeh no that's not enough sorry pal. Deffo gotta take more ;) <3

  9. Aw thank you :) i had just lost confidence in blogging and wanted to write something to let people know that in blogging you can do what you want! There should be no rules :') xo

  10. India Benjamin15 July 2014 at 12:15

    Haha according to bloggy rules, I would be a terrible blogger. I even use makeup wipes occasionally. Oops!

    India / Touchscreens & Beautyqueens

  11. hahahaha SUCH a funny post! Made me giggle! You certainly did defy all the rules there, but it was so worth it! ;) xx

  12. Very funny :) thanks for writing this, it made me smile!